


Date Me? If You Beg

by AnneScriblerian



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ficlet, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-06
Updated: 2013-03-06
Packaged: 2017-12-04 12:18:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/710705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnneScriblerian/pseuds/AnneScriblerian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How badly do you want it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Date Me? If You Beg

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2011 Severus *Sighs* Dating Profile Challenge.

PART I: PROFILE

Screen name: (What everyone who visits your profile will see) Heathcliff

Name: (What your date/potential match will see) A. Prince

Gender: Male

Occupation: Ex-Spy, currently dabbling in research (Dark Arts)

Sexual preference: Often, but only if you beg.

Age: Young for a wizard, but I have seen horrors you cannot imagine.

Height: Impressive.

Weight: is not an indication of strength.

PART II: QUESTIONNAIRE

Are you a dog or cat person? I prefer a serpent. Cats and dogs would be adequate for its food supply.

What's a better first date: a walk along the beach or a romantic dinner for two? Dinner for two in the dungeons. You are dessert.

Do you like to hook up on the first date? I prefer chaining my partner to a bed or a table. As enjoyable as hooks may seem, dislocated shoulders are not conducive to strenuous activity.

How long has it been since your last relationship? I prefer to think of my dealings with others as on-going negotiations.

If you answered male to the sexual preference question above, do you prefer to top or bottom? Wherever I put you.

Click here to upload your photo!

Your attractiveness is what is at question here.

PART III: PROFILE

Tell us about you! How would you describe yourself as a person? What are your best qualities? What are your worst? Do you have any hobbies or outside interests? This is your chance to let your personality shine! (500 characters remain)

I really don’t see why you need to know anything about me. I simply miss the exertions required of me during the war, although I do not miss the war itself. I need an outlet for my talents in deceit, torture, and manipulation. If you are very, very lucky, I may deign to use these skills on you. Simply know that I will be able to sense your darkest desires—yes, the ones you have never admitted even to yourself. I won’t care about them, oh no, but I will use them to bring you pleasure and pain beyond that which you’ve ever known. Then, if your reaction pleases me, I will do it again.

~*~*~*~*~

theSeeker: um…

Heathcliff: Do you have something to say, or do you simply desire an assessment of your method of fellatio? Humming is a good start.

theSeeker: I would like to give you a practical demonstration of my skills

Heathcliff: I bet you would.

theSeeker: I promise I won’t cry this time

Heathcliff: Then what would be the point?

theSeeker: I will wear that thing you like

Heathcliff: In case you hadn’t noticed, I am trying to find someone new with whom to gift my talents.

theSeeker: I’ll kill anyone who tries

Heathcliff: That’s more like it. I will meet you at Whispers at the usual time. You will wear “that thing.”


End file.
